Time for a change

since i can remember I've had a hard time falling asleep at night, no matter how tired i am sleep never really wants to come. I blame it on a overactive imagination and a mind that hates to rest even when it should i mean i can't stop talking half the time why should my mind be any different. but right now i think it has to do with change. Change has always been my best friend and worst enemy. I love what change represents: new starts, fresh chances, clean slates, new, different, a challenge to compete with. but at the same times it's also means fear, potential failure and lack of control. and we all know how much i love to control my life. but like most of the big moments or even the small ones change comes weather i have a say or not. and it looks like the universe has seen fit to force a new change in my life.

Any time i have a change in my life big or small i can't sleep my mind keeps going over my choices or lack of choices i made to lead to this moment and what this change will do to me.
It's silly really a game of what if, which one, that i play in my head going over every possible scenario that could come of it, all of which are possible but again i have no control of knowing which it will be.
For me change means releasing the reins just for a moment or two and letting the horse go as they please. but as the insomnia that i am it also means that i have bags under my eyes the morning of a big change in my life.

A new location. change again. lets see how it goes.


-Virginia

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